Monday, June 18, 2007
12:14 AM
I have lost all hope.
From first to the last.
Lost every inch of myself.
Did I gave up on myself?
Maybe.
Have I always been giving up on myself?
I think I have.
No matter how much I have tried.
So what if one have plenty of dreams.
For the future for the passion?
So what?
If achieveing simple things are not possible.
Whats the use of dreaming?
Gone.
Tears ran dry,
Hopes disappeared.
It is like a physical body without meanings.
Even if I was to start from scratch again, what happens?
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When I was young,
I was always the first few from the back.
Countless of failures of course.
Entering into university and achieveing those great grades was the first time.
Growing up being the last few was where I always belong.
Exceptionally being the top few in class for Uni was new.
However, it seems like,
Even being back to probs the first few from the bottom does not even feel familiar anymore.
What I need is help.
Practical help.
I am not complaining.
I am just, broken once again.
But this time, even time and environment has ran against me.
Now I am all left with nothing but a physical body.
I do not need enlightment or anti-depression pills.
I do not need any more ears or a stretch out hand.
All I need is a simple re-assurance.
God, Who am I?
Is this my drama scipted life?
Lord, Where are you?
Now I am, just a broken and weak soul.
Crying out loud for help within.
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